Never Listen the Valtiel's Advices
by NamelessForNow
Summary: A story about two friends - Pyramid Head and Valtiel, and also Pyramid's beloved Great Knife. One beautiful evening Pyramid Head made one big mistake: he allowed his friend Valtiel to stay in Pyramid's place to spend the night.


**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any of Silent Hill characters, Konami does.

However, I'm so thankful to this talented company for them!:D

It's inspired by: a lot of Pyramid Head's arts; my own sick fantasies; a song _"If You Were Gay"_ from _"Avenue Q"(o_O...well...actually,the weirdest thing is that it doesn't relate to the plot of my story...well...nevermind,nevermind...__)_

Note: I tried to make this story funny. Honest. -_-

* * *

'Ahhhhh...Home, sweet home...'

It was the Pyramid Head's thought when he finally entered his house placed in Labyrinth.  
Pyramid was tired but was content with himself. It seemed that he succeed in becoming a worst nightmare for that annoying clerk...what his name was...oh, James Sunderland.

'Huh,you're back at last!' A joyful voice said.

And then Pyramid Head did something that James Sunderland couldn't imagine even in his craziest fantasies - he smiled.

'Hi, Val. I'm glad you've visited me. How it goes?'

Great, my friend! I have a feeling it is the best day of my life!' Valtiel reported happily.

'Pyramid smiled again. Val had the best day of his life at least for 365 days in a year. Or even more.

'Erm...Pyr? I want to ask you something.'

'Certainly, pal.'

'Can I stay in your place tonight?'

'Oh no...' Pyramid thought to himself. His good mood disappeared at once. If Val asked about it, it meant Pyramid could forget about sleep and rest for a whole night.  
'Khm...Val, you see...'

'PLEEEAAAASE! I'm so bored and so alone!' Val ashed forgetting that day was actually the best day of his life.

'Oh,okay, okay. But promise you'll be quiet!'

'Of cooooourse, I will!' said Val and grinned.

* * *

In a half of hour Pyramid was laying in his bed and Val was laying on the bedding near him. Pyramid wanted to sleep very badly but couldn't because of his friend's unstoppable jabber.

'Hey, Pyr!'

'Huh?'

'Are you bored?'

'No,I'm well.'

'And I'm so bored. Pyr!'

'WHAT?!'

'Think of some occupation for me!'

'What should I? Think of it by yourself.'

'I can't figure out anything. Pyy-y-y-yr...'

'Oh, shut up, Val.'

'Pyr, you are so boring.'

'Yeah, I know, you've already told me that. I guess, I've thought of some occupation for you.'

'REALLY?'

'It's sleep, Val, SLEEP.'

'It's not interesting. Oh, I know! I will remember about that girl...'

'What girl?'

'The one who came from Portland. Actually, she was born here, in Silent Hill, but moved with his father to Portland(actually, it wasn't her father, but nevermind), but her father was killed and she came to revenge for him, but she was pregnant by the God, and I had to help her to born the God, and then I had to keep the God...You know, she was really hot...Ah...Pyr? Hey, Pyr, are you listening?'

'Hrrrrrrr...'

'Ugh, you are so boring. What should I do now...Oh, I know. I will whistle!'

_*whistle*_

'Mmmmm...'

_*whistle*_

'Val...'

_*whistle*_

'Val, stop it!'

_*whistle*_

'Stop it.'

_*whistle*_

**'VAL!!!!!!!!'**

'Okay, easy, easy...'

* * *

_*After short pause*_

'Py-y-y-yr!'

'Mmmmmm...'

'I have such a brilliant idea!'

'Mmmmm?'

'Let's invite the nurses. Let's call them up.'

'Oh no, Val, I don't want to...'

'Well, what about Mannequins?'

'No.'

'Or Lying Figures?..'

**'YOU'RE SO ANNOYING, VAL! YOU'RE MORE ANNOYING THAN THAT DUMB SUNDERLAND! TAKE THE PHONE AND CALL WHEREVER YOU WANT!'**

(Poor James! If only he had known that Pyramid had the working telephone...)

'YAY! I love you, Pyr! You're the best friend I've ever had!'

'Yeah, yeah...' Pyramid replied. He felt himself very poor and unhappy.

* * *

In fifteen minutes Pyr felt himself poor and unhappy even more, cause he was going on the party organized by the nurses in Brookhaven hospital with Val. He liked to visit nurses parties but at that moment his strongest wish was to sleep.

'Are you ready, pal?' Val asked with his stupid but so cheekily joyful smile.

'Wait, I have to take THIS...' Pyramid looked at his Great Knife gently.

'What will you need it for?' Val surprised. 'Come on, Pyr. Nurses are afraid of this thing! Seriously, nothing gonna happen with your beloved toy. Who will be interested in it?'

'Well, okay...' Pyr sighed sadly and left the house along with Val. He had a bad presentiment.

* * *

_*The next morning*_

**'THAT BASTARD SUNDERLAND!!!!!!!!!!HE STOLE MY KNIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!'**

'Ow.' Val said. 'That guy is in the big trouble from now.'

**'VAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU SAID NOBODY WOULD BE INTERESTED IN IT!!!!!!!!!!'**

'Ouch. Not only that guy.' Val said and began to run.

* * *

James jumped scared. He was sure he had just heard some really weird noises in Labyrinth.

'No, it stopped...I guess I should drink less health drinks...' He decided.

Certainly, James couldn't know that the noises were actually the howls of Valtiel,running VERY fast from VERY angry Pyramid Head...


End file.
